i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
