whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
