Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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