Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i think im in europe. pls send help
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
