five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
