I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
