In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
