Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
