I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
