mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
