I smell stomach acid.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize