turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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