I hate all girls vehemently.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
