there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
