there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
my sisters under your porch take her home
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
