Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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