Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
send nudes
from the living room?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
