Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So many bounce houses so little time
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Panties = found
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize