I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
