I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
