her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
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