i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
