she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
