I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
