Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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