I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
