I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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