My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
