I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
