i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
