Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You did what with his pubic hair?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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