Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize