JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
