Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
