why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
