Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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