I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
