I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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