He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
