Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
