if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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