office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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