i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just had sex on a roof
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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