bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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