Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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