She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
