Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
