this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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