I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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