i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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