super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
