Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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