You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
