Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
