Betty ford says i'm here all night
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
