I didn't shave. On purpose
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize