help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
