Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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