Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
