At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
