I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
