I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
