is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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