Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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