it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
