We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
