Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
