just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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