its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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