HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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