12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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