I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
