Your mouth is God's brothel.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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