In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm really busy with my period
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