shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
