new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
